Steve who? Another one?
I first heard of Steven in 2000. Cindy was working at aMedia in San Francisco. I remember her telling me that she met this guy that worked at aMedia in New York who had just moved out here to San Francisco. She said that they were flirting around the office and I thought, oh gosh. She’s stirring the old office pot!

I remember when Cindy first got together with Steve - I think it was around the time of her birthday. It was so good to see that sparkle in Cindy’s eyes when she talked about this new guy. It had been a while since she was really interested in anyone. I was curious about him because I still hadn’t met him.

When she told me his name was Steve - that’s Steven with a “v” - I was so surprised. My brother’s name is also Steven. Another Cindy and Steven - I thought it was quite funny.

Things didn’t work out with aMedia for either Cindy or Steve. I remember them not getting paid for their work, paychecks bouncing, and then fighting to get paid for their work and even COBRA benefits. It must have been so tough. I also remember Cindy telling me that Steve wouldn’t give up the source codes unless everyone got paid. Feisty one, isn’t he? He was always good at standing up for himself and those he cared about.

I can’t recall when my then boyfriend Rod (now husband) and I first met Steven. It seems so long ago when we thought of him separately from Cindy. I remember meeting him for the first time and thinking how nice and friendly he was. He was really approachable. And, he also liked cats - a real plus in my book since I have 3 cats. His cat was named Muffin.

Acura Integra
When Steve returned back from Dallas/Chicago, he purchased a used black Acura Integra and drove it all the way back to San Francisco. The car was definitely a fixer-upper - good rice-rocket material. I owned an Integra myself after college and up until I moved out to San Francisco. I loved that car. I went everywhere with it. Seeing his car brought back good memories. He must have had a blast driving it halfway across the country.

The great outdoors
I learned that Steve had attended the University of Chicago and that he was an English major. He was really good with computers and loved music, particularly indie rock music. He also rock-climbed. Cindy started rock-climbing because of Steve. They would go to Mission Cliffs Climbing Center. I remember talking to Cindy about the rock-climbing gear that Steve had given her.

Last year, Steve and Cindy went to Yosemite and climbed Half Dome. I remember hearing the story and wondering what that would be like. The rock climbing must have really helped. Knowing Cindy, she could have fallen off. I bet Steve took really good care of Cindy.

Steve was very active. He loved to go fishing and talked about his fishing trips all the time. Pacifica, Half Moon Bay, Bean Hollow. My husband Rod loves to fish and I remember thinking it would be nice for us to all go fishing someday together. That and oyster shucking. Unfortunately, we never got to go oyster shucking in Tomales Bay with Steve and Cindy. This would have been the summer that we would have gone oyster shucking with them. I was really looking forward to the barbeque and kayaking.

This reminds me of something about Steven. He was always up for doing something outdoors. Hiking, oyster shucking, kayaking, fishing, camping. He always had the energy and enthusiasm to want to go. “Yeah, let’s go….” I can still see his face and hear his voice. I remember thinking, “There’s time to do that. Not now, but soon.“ I feel so sad when I remember this. I was wrong.

Cats
Our cats were always a topic of conversation when we got together. We couldn't help it. Pets are such an extension of all of us.

Steve once described his cat Muffin as a really ugly cat with a raspy, smoker's howl of a meow. I can still see and hear him doing his Muffin impression. I remember being so amused by it and feeling a bond with a fellow cat-owner and howling along myself. It was truly like in the old Tom & Jerry or Disney cartoons with the cats meowing and howling at night.

Every time we went home for the holidays or went on vacation, we could always count on Steve and Cindy to take care of our cats. When we returned, the place would be in order and our cats would be so happy to see us. We could tell they were well taken care of. Then, we’d get to hear all the bad kitty stories like parents getting reports from the babysitter. Our cat Gushy was both Steve and Cindy’s favorite.

I always pictured them sitting on our futon watching television with Gush sitting next to them and Steve and Cindy brushing and petting her. One time we returned from a trip back East and we saw that the Stouffers frozen French bread pizzas were gone. Someone had raided the freezer. I was amused that the pizza was gone and at the same time disappointed. That pizza IS good, isn’t it?

I hope they made themselves at home and enjoyed being together in our cluttered apartment. They didn’t have much privacy living with roommates.

Tea, anyone?
Steve always loved tea and I have a ton of tea. He always liked it when I made some and helped himself. I never got a chance to ask him what was his favorite. I think they were all his favorite!

Dumplings, chicken and more
We used to go to this Korean-Chinese restaurant, San Tung, all the time. Boy, Steve could eat! We’d order the dumplings, the dry-spiced chicken, the ja-jang men, and the string beans. Enough food for a small unit in an army. There were also times at Koriyo in Oakland, dim sum at Harbor Village, dinner at Seoul Garden. We loved to eat.

Then, there’s Jamba Juice, Cindy’s crazy solution for a nutritious meal. Recently, right after Cindy had moved back to L.A., I bumped into Steve on Union Street while I was out with a friend. He had a Jamba Juice and it was all he was eating. I remembered thinking I need to make him one of my lasagnas so he could have a full meal to eat. Something more substantial than Jamba Juice! He offered me concert tickets to the San Francisco Opera, and even came back to Union Street to drop off the tickets where I was eating with my friend. Sadly, I never got to give him that lasagna.

Williams-Sonoma
Steven came to work at Williams-Sonoma one holiday season. He helped our stock lady, Lisa, in the back room. He was really good at being very proactive and taking charge. He always had some sort of idea about how things should run or be improved. He was so efficient and responsive with that walkie-talkie. I knew that I could count on him for anything.

I once sent him to Frederickson’s Hardware Store to grab some supplies. He got himself some funny-looking kneepads so his knees wouldn’t hurt when he put stuff away. He got me a canister of Bar Keeper’s friend like I had asked him to. The kneepads are still in the stockroom of the Williams-Sonoma store on Chestnut Street and I still have that canister of Bar Keeper’s Friend.

I got engaged that holiday season. I called Cindy really early in the morning to tell her. She must have told Steve because when I saw him later that morning, he came to the store's back room with a huge smile on his face to congratulate me. He was so happy. I told him not to say anything to anyone yet, because I didn’t want a huge spectacle at work. The rat. The first person he ran out to tell was the biggest loudmouth at work, Kelly. Ugh! I was going to strangle Steven. I smile when I think of this memory because I remember his smile and his laugh.

Rod and I were so sad that Steve and Cindy couldn’t make our wedding. They were such a part of our lives in San Francisco and we owed so much of our being together to Cindy. It was so unfair that financial circumstances prevented them from being able to go to their friends’ weddings. However, I believed that a wedding day is only one day, a sliver in someone’s life. Love and friendship extends beyond a lifetime.

Happy Valentines Day/Happy Birthday
Cindy had come up from L.A. for the weekend and we were planning to celebrate Steve’s 30th birthday on Saturday. Next thing we know, he’s back in the hospital - again.

We spent Valentine’s Day evening in Steve’s room at the St. Francis Hospital in San Francisco with Steve, Cindy, and several of their friends. It just felt right to be there. He had just been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma the day before. I couldn’t think of a better place that I would have wanted to be.

Valentine’s Day is a celebration and remembrance of love. Steve and Cindy have shown so much love to their friends. They needed love on that particular day.

The next day we celebrated Steven’s 30th birthday at Seoul Garden. We finally got to meet his friends that we heard a lot about. A lot of them hadn’t seen him yet and he had just gotten surgery. It was hard for him to walk and he was in pain, and had the chills, but he really wanted to go. He was so strong and determined to have the celebration.

We got him a Scrabble game for his 30th birthday because we remembered playing Scrabble with him once. The time we had played, Steve was so meticulous, careful, and just agonizingly slow. The English Major. Of course, Steve and Cindy won the game. Ugh!

Steve was going back to L.A. with Cindy soon. I didn’t want to miss being there for either of them that weekend. Rod and I were in Maui the first time Steve got sick. He was all alone. I didn’t want him to feel that he was alone. We’re here.

It would be his last birthday celebration.

Easter Sunday
We went to church this past Sunday. It struck Rod that the last time we went to church we left early to grab dim sum at Harbor Village with Steve, Cindy, and Lenny. We went shopping at Banana Republic and the Gap afterwards. Steve still had the chills - it was just after his first hospitalization in January - and had to go home after a while.

Rod and I go to different places in San Francisco and it reminds us of a memory or story of Steve and Cindy. San Tung, Jamba Juice, Williams-Sonoma, Korean food. I never realized how much he was so a part of our lives.

Last and lasting memory of Steven
My last memory of you was when you called on Saturday, March 29th. My mother was visiting and we had gone out for the day. You left a message on our answering machine. You sounded like you had a tube in your nose and were talking with a slight difficulty in breath. Despite your fragile condition, your voice was so strong and clear. You were going to be leaving the hospital in the next day or so and began chemotherapy. The treatment was tough, but you were optimistic and hopeful.

You called to thank us for the pears we sent from Harry and David. I thought of sending them to you because I remembered that you were craving fruit after the initial surgery.

I loved the message. I could hear the hope, the strength, the courage and it touched me so. Be strong, Steve. We’re praying for you.

A couple of weeks ago Rod and I came across a get-well card with a cat on it in Bloomingdale’s that I wanted to buy and send to Steve to wish him well. I was in a rush and accidentally forgot it. He would have liked it and it would have made him smile. “I’ll see him soon,” I thought. “We’ll be down in L.A. soon and I can give him the card then.”

I never got the chance to see or speak to Steve again.

I keep thinking of all the would’ves, could’ves, and should’ves - like everyone does. I plan to go and buy that card, regardless. The card reminds me of him, his gentleness, fragility, hope, optimism, and strength. In the end I know it really doesn’t matter. He’s in a better place, there is no pain, and only warm memories of how he has touched all of our lives. Good memories.

He was thanking us for taking care of him that weekend. We couldn’t think of anything we’d rather do. I’ve grown so much from just knowing him for only a short time in my life. I continue to grow as a person from just knowing him. You continue to be a part of our life.

We miss you Steven. Very very much.

-Cindy Chin

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