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Jan Andrew |
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I don't have any particular stories to tell about Steven, just memories and impressions that I have. I met him some time ago when he first started to hang out at the apartment because Cindy was my roommate. One of the first things that I remember about him was his laugh. He and Cindy would be watching something on television and Steven would find something funny and start laughing in that really infectious way. You could hear it clear across the apartment and it would make you smile. Not too long after that, Steven moved into the apartment when our other roommate Ben left to pursue better job opportunities in New York. The thing I remember about this time is Steven's clear and total devotion to Cindy. They seemed to be two halves of the same person. They enjoyed so many of the same things, always supported each other and obviously loved spending time together. Their warmth and affection toward each other was good to be around. Cindy moved out to take a job in LA, and Steven and I had to find another roommate. The only time that I can remember Steven getting mad at me was during this time. We took out an ad on Craig's List and started interviewing people. This attractive young woman looked at the apartment, but could not move in because her parents did not approve of her living with two men. I harassed Steven, trying to get her contact information from him so that I could ask her on a date. Steven refused, saying that it was a clear violation of the trust that she had put in us, and only confirmed her parents' fears. He was right. His sense of morality was strong and unshakable, his sense of right and wrong firm and unwavering. He was one of the most honest and trustworthy people that I have ever known. He was also kind. He spent hours helping me to fix my computer when it broke down, hours that normally he would be paid very well for. He did it for me for free, even giving me components and asking for nothing in return. And he loved to fish. He was passionate about it. He subscribed to fishing magazines, had fishing equipment all over his room, and spent an entire Saturday rigging the garage so he would have a safe and convenient place to keep his rods. He would go out in any weather, sometimes in pouring rain and gusting wind. Oftentimes he would come back with nothing, but he would always tell me that he had a great time just being out there, sometimes with his close friend, sometimes by himself. Anytime he brought something back, he would cook it up right away, always eager to share. And it was always an experience to try whatever he had caught. Not always good, mind you, but an experience nonetheless. And he missed Cindy. The date that he planned to move to LA was always being moved up whenever I talked to him about it. He would say that the economy was so much better down there, but we both knew what he was really talking about. I would catch him planning their wedding, and they weren't even officially engaged yet. The last month that he lived in SF was hard. He had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night due to heavy internal bleeding. They did not find the cancer right away, and when he came home he was very sick with high fevers and aches and pains. But he was still Steven. When the ambulance came, Steven was extremely clear and detailed about what the problem was, even correcting the paramedic when he got it wrong while radioing the hospital. This while in excruciating pain and having fainted twice. He still wanted to make sure they got it right. He also never lost his sense of humor. When I saw him in the hospital he would always make a couple of small jokes to put me at ease. I never heard him complain, or ask, "Why me?" He was just determined to fight. I spoke to him the week before he died, and he was very ill. But he did not complain. He was upbeat, said he missed me, and was going to fight till the end. I am a better person for knowing Steven. He was a good, and kind person who loved life and loved his friends and family. He was strong and brave. I will miss him and his ridiculous laugh that always made me smile. -James Kirkham |
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