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Jan Andrew |
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Steven's dance One of my favorite Nietzsche quotes is: "I should believe only in a God that knows how to dance." Dancing. My fondest memories of Steven are of him dancing. Dancing to a heavy hip-hop beat at Peter and Anna's; dancing to his favorite band, Versus, at The Great American Music Hall. In motion, yet filled with stillness, deep in his own tranquil world. It was the dance of a warm, peaceful being. Not a square self-conscious dance, the kind you used to see on American Bandstand; nor the self-absorbed dance you'd see a few channels away on Soul Train. His was a free dance. The dance of a pure-hearted boy, floating outside of space, time and care, with a tranquil smile on his face. This was Steven's dance. My favorite dance. ====== My Three Stages I'm figuring it slowly. Well, sort of. . . Stage One: Shock. It must be like the first loud boom during a war.
Concussions for everyone nearby. Wandering around in the smoke, trying
to figure out exactly what had just happened. Like wandering, for the
first time, through a dark room. Stage Three: A resolution of sorts. Even if the whys are unclear or foggy to us. I know how Steven would've wanted us to deal with this. He would've wanted us to hike on, to continue along the trail, in love with our loves, appreciating the beauty around us. Of course, we should stop and taste the honeydew from a budding flower (he used to do this when we hiked together). He would've wanted us to go fishing; to lay in sun with our rods abutted between the edges of two rocks; to breathe in the fresh ocean air, and. . .maybe, even once in a while, catch a fish. He would've wanted us to enjoy each other's company at a barbeque on a warm summer's day. He would've wanted us to relax, enjoy each other's company, and love our lives. -Tobin Mori
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